The balance of power has swayed to the other side for too long now. It’s about time that we take the power back. This love affair has lasted long enough. We need to quell the uprising. The iron fist needs to return. Our houses need to be rescued from their current state of disarray.
Of course, I am talking about the hold women seem to have over men – men that like women that is. Women do not seem to have the same hold over men who like men. Why is that? And how do straight men regain control and return women to their rightful place – obeying us and keeping the house clean?
The Problem is Real
When one thinks of social problems they think of the homeless, high unemployment and the crime rate. What most people do not realize is that the gravest social issue of all is that of women in the workforce. The result has had undesirable effects both in the workplace and at home. The economics of the matter have gone unnoticed and the psychological effects ignored even more!
An examination of productivity in the workplace shows that productivity was higher by 200% just 40 years ago with a workforce half the size. Worse still is that productivity has declined in exact proportions with the increase of women in the workforce. This should be argument enough to return women to the 1950’s. This decrease in productivity translates to a trillion dollar plus drain on the world economy. Yikes!
The positive economic effects of limiting a woman’s role in the workplace are myriad. Removing women from the workforce means practically no unemployment. When did unemployment begin to rise? We began tracking this statistic called ‘unemployment’ when women entered the workforce en masse. There were enough jobs for just men before women decided they had to be wage earners as well.
In addition to the decrease in unemployment would be the positive gains in productivity. The recapturing of one trillion dollars worldwide would more than offset the loss of women from the workforce. This gain should translate into higher paying jobs all around so that there is no need to worry about the loss of that second, albeit less, income.
If a woman wants a job, it really should be watching the precious children she helped create with her husband. This also leaves time for soap operas, cleaning the house and making dinner for her wonderful husband. Why did women insist on changing this? Everyone had jobs when women were limited to positions as secretaries, nurses and kindergarten teachers, children were assured that there would be a warm, loving person on the other side of the door when they got home and men were guaranteed jobs they could be proud to have. Now men become nurses while women are becoming doctors!
Think of the Children!!!
Economic concerns aside, women need to return to the home for sociological reasons too. Did you know that crime has risen dramatically every year since women left their children home alone in search of meaning to lives they claimed were dull and unimportant? And since when was meaning found in something other than our children – the most important resource we have? It is this lack of love that has caused things such as Attention Deficit Disorder, the proliferation of gangs, hackers, video game addicts, children who talk back, children who have no respect for authority, the destruction of the planet’s environment and so on.
If women dedicated themselves to their husbands and children, then perhaps we would not be facing global warming. Their second wage has meant the need for a second car. That second car pumps that much more crap into the atmosphere. It also means that there is money available for junior to get his own car when the time arrives.
Psychological effects abound too. When a mother is emotionally absent from her child she feels guilt. Children know how to feed off this guilt. I know. I was a child once. This guilt allows junior to convince mother that his own car is necessary for the dysfunctional family to continue functioning dysfunctionally. Mom would not need to give up her vehicle as long as junior has his own to use. A mother at home prevents this from providing discipline to directionless children and she saves the ozone layer at the same time.
I could go on and on about the merits of women staying home. But to do so would be to ramble incessantly. And I assure you that I am no woman. I will say this. It is time that men start thinking for women again. Women have clearly shown the inability to think properly for themselves. Women have allowed our children to run wild. Their limitless greed has caused the planet’s environment to deteriorate tremendously. Finally, women have forgotten that their husbands and boyfriends have needs. Those needs are not presently being met. Men must convey to women that they will stand for this no longer! We should not have to get our own beer from the fridge. But how can me make the positive changes necessary to save the world from women?
Self Gratification is the Key
We need to masturbate more than we already do. In fact, we need to go on a sexual strike for several reasons. First and foremost, women don’t think we can do it. That’s reason enough as far as I am concerned. How can men achieve the respect we so rightly deserve without earning it?
Secondly, lack of sex will bring women to their knees. If we can believe the stats, and when has a statistic ever been wrong, then we know that only 0.3% of women compared to 100% of men masturbate. Men already do this and can do it more. But it is doubtful that women can achieve the same sort of sexual gratification from their fingers or vibrating toys than a man with a free hand and reruns of Baywatch can. If the movie Bridget Jones’ Diary is at all accurate, then there is no way a woman can remain secure without sex.
The only people who can effect the changes necessary to make this planet liveable again are men. Men need to masturbate more and have sex with women less – if at all. Only once they have submitted to us can we have sex again. Once we have learned to live without women then women will learn that they cannot live without us. The shift in power will be complete and snowballs will once again rule in hell.